Fitted carpets - the new website for consumer power

Hooray I hear you shouting, some one is trying to help the poor often downtrodden consumer from falling awry of the evil consumer lords of the fitted carpets dynasty. Yes, consumer, you now have somebody batting for you, trying to hold the legions of unhelpful carpet salesmen and assistants back from the breaches. A mistake here is notoriosly costly and what do we know about the perfect methods of buying fitted carpets?

It's a long time since we were called upon to exercise our wallets over the rocky and barren hinterland known as the carpet shop. It is just so easy to blow ones money with reckless abandonment, worse, not even know you're doing it! Get armed before you consider parting with one farthing for fitted carpets.

Whatever you buy this incarnation, fitted carpets will represent a significant proportion of your disposable income. And lord help you if you drop a clanger! No one, but no one is going to bale you out with a compensatory allowance to repeal you. Bet on it (a stronger bet than England's chances this World Cup).

When you successfully manage to pull one over on the oft inexperienced carpet salesman, you will glow with self satisfaction, incandescent with happiness and feeling rather smug. There it will be - the reams of fresh fitted carpets as brought by the fitters on the roof of their vans. Your neighbours will be sick you didn't mess it up like them!